When Little Olive came home from the hospital, we started to notice some unusual symptoms. Some of her problems are from being premature and are likely to be outgrown but right now it’s hard to know for sure. This post is a reflection written from that place of uncertainty as I seek to trust God with my children’s health.
Throughout the Bible, there are many written memorials of God’s truth revealed to the writers through times of deep sorrow and great rejoicing. I would like to do the same with my blog posts as I continue through the tangled trail of motherhood.
Trusting God With my Children’s Health
Why is it so hard to trust God with my baby’s health right now? When we were in the hospital it was easy to recognize that I had no control over her well being. I knew that God was the only one who could protect my baby. But once Little Olive came home and I became responsible for her care, I let myself think that I was also responsible to protect her from every imaginable harm.
My imagination often gets me into trouble, mostly because imaginations are not certainties. I like to imagine that I will protect my children from sorrow. Until reality hits and my child is suffering – a painful reminder I live in a sin-cursed world full of uncertainties. Without a diagnosis my imagination lets me see the pain of every possible complication. Unfortunately when I imagine that I can outsmart the certain consequences of sin, I forget that I need a savior. And the ever-present uncertainties of life leave me hopeless and helpless.
But instead of obsessing over uncertainties, I can channel my energy into entrusting my concerns to God. Instead of focusing on endless possibilities, I can focus on the enduring truths of God’s word.
Yes ,I wonder why my child has to suffer. But I know that our temporary suffering yields eternal rewards. When I pray for my children I pray God will equip them with the abilities they need to serve him best. The possible answers to my prayer are scary. But I know that my Loving Father has a plan for me and for them.
Read More about Little Olive’s Story in These Posts:
How I learned to deal with the anxiety from my high-risk pregnancy:
When God Writes a Better Birth Story:
Part 2: (Coming Soon!)